Fighting Fear

Once upon a time, I knew a guy who spent three years in law school, but when it came time to take that last class to graduate, he just didn't bother. His employer gave him time off to study for and take the bar exam, but although he took the time, he never took the exam. Because, of course, he couldn't. He was a smart guy, very knowledgeable in the field, but he never took those final steps to become a lawyer. I always wondered why. My ten year old just read this paragraph over my shoulder and answered the question for me: "I think he was afraid."

I think so too. You can't be called a bad lawyer if you never finish law school. And you can't be called a bad writer if you never finish a book.

I typed "The End" in my manuscript seven months ago. I need to add a couple of scenes and it requires some serious editing, but the bones are all there.  And yet I cannot seem to finish it. I even started another book, and although that is going well, I am being haunted by the first one.

Generally speaking, I am not a risk-taker; I never have been. When I graduated from college, I cried for two days because for the first time in my life I had no idea what to do next. When I started my own law firm I was so freaked out I didn't eat for three weeks and lost about 15 pounds.  Both involved leaving a safe cocoon of support and certainty. To me, a manuscript is a bit like that. When it's in your own head or on your own laptop, it's safe and secure. You can imagine that it will be perfect, that everyone will love it.

So I suppose it's understandable, if pathetic, that the idea of pitching and querying the book scares the crap out of me. I squandered a recent opportunity to pitch at the NEORWA conference, and didn't participate in a query workshop I took a few weeks ago. I told myself it was because the book wasn't ready, but I was lying: the truth is that I was terrified.

This morning as I had both the old and the new manuscripts open on my laptop, I thought about that guy who never finished law school, who as far as I know still works in a cubicle doing the same thing every day. I thought about how I went abroad for my junior year and it was an unforgettable experience that inspires me to this day. I thought about how I left my cushy life for law school, and I graduated cum laude. I thought about how I started my own firm, and it's doing fine. And I realized that I actually am a risk taker when it counts.

Eleanor Roosevelt reportedly said, "Do one thing every day that scares you." So every day I will do something scary, or at least a little difficult. I will write a logline, a pitch, and a query letter. I will shelve the new MS until I finish the old one. And then I will send my baby out into the world.


 

On the importance of recycling

I have nothing to say today. Actually, not quite true; I have a lot to say, but it's in a new manuscript. I started this one Monday in a FastDraft I'm doing with some of the lovely ladies from NEORWA. I am woefully behind, so I am going to get back to it. My current scene features the hero and his long-lost sister, reunited, enjoying a picnic in a garden.

So, I will leave you with a recycled post on gardens that I originally wrote about this time last year, for the New Kids on the Writers Block.

(Just as an update, our front yard is now gorgeous, and the rose bushes are HUGE.)

Writing History: Gardens

Over the past two weeks, our front yard has been getting a makeover.  We hired landscapers to rip out EVERYthing--trees, shrubs, 6-ft tall hedge from hell, grass, ground cover, front walk and steps.  For over a week we waited for all the remaining foliage to die. (The neighbors thought we were completely nuts.  Every time someone walked by, we would hear wafting through the open window, "Oh my God, they tore out everything!  Do you think they are going to leave it this way?"  Um, no.)  We have now planted four ornamental trees, some ornamental grasses, roses, two tiny, well-mannered hedges, some lilies, and lots and lots of grass, which all require lots and lots of water.

When researching some possibilities for the plants to put in the front yard, I came across many, many references to English gardens.   From the tiniest cottage garden to the most elaborate country house landscape, the English have been renowned for centuries for their garden design.  Which got me thinking: gardens are marvelous additions to novels.  They evoke scents--lush roses, heady lavender, sweet lilac--and vivid color.  They feature marvelous little alcoves for a romantic tryst, or a secluded bower for intrigue.   They provide a peaceful backdrop for a solitary walk, or a tree for a mischievous heroine to climb.  So today I thought I'd take a little walk through the history of English gardens. 

Over the years, styles of English gardens changed markedly.  During the medieval period, gardens were typically enclosed by walls, and grew useful plants--herbs for cooking and medicine.  They often had a mound inside, which was used to look outside the walls while remaining safely within.  There is a lovely drawing of a medieval garden, as well as a discussion of what they may have looked like, here.

Some other resources for medieval gardens include:

http://www.godecookery.com/mtales/mtales16.htm

McLean, Teresa.  Medieval English Gardens (Viking, 1981).

National Geographic story  about a 2003 discovery of the remains of an unusual medieval garden at Whittington Castle.

During the Renaissance period, gardens were also enclosed, but they were much more elaborate. In the Tudor era, gardens were heavily influenced by Italianate style.  The "knot garden" was developed during this period.  Hampton Court Palace has several reconstructed Tudor-era gardens, including a classic knot garden.

The Stuarts, on the other hand, were into French gardens. These often featured a broad avenue  flanked by rectangular parterres made of formal low hedges.

If you are interested in learning more about gardens of the Renaissance era, don't bother Googling "Tudor Gardens" or "Renaissance Gardens," as that leads to an astonishing number of urban American apartment complexes and nursing homes, few of which seem to have gardens.  Instead, try searching on gardenvisit.com.

Badminton House and landscape garden, Gloucestershire.
From Morris's Country Seats (1880). Source: Wikipedia.

The eighteenth century saw a shift to more natural looking landscapes.  Achieving this natural look apparently involved removing everything that was in place (kind of like my yard), and starting from scratch.  Every feature, including lakes, was then engineered to look as "natural" as possible.

Lancelot "Capability" Brown was the most sought-after landscape designer of the day.  Brown is reputed to have designed over 170 gardens.  For a biography of Brown and links to gardens still in existence today, go to http://www.britainexpress.com/History/bio/brown.htm. 

Gardens in the Victorian period went a little nuts, with lots of flowers and exotic colors, and formal and informal styles mixed together.  There are some wonderful photos at gardenvisit.com, which I am afraid to re-post here, due to copyright issues.

This period also saw the creation of a large number of public parks, including Derby Arboretum (reputed to be the first), Crystal Palace Park in London, and Birkenhead Park, which is said to have influenced Frederick Law Olmsted, the designer of New York's Central Park.  

Some general resources on the history of English gardens, in no particular order:

*Great quick resource, and the starting point for this post: http://www.britainexpress.com/History/english-gardens.htm.

*Turner, Tom.  Garden Design in the British Isles: History and styles since 1650. (1986?)

*The GardenDesign website has a great bibliography of books on garden design and landscaping history.

*Country Life's website also has a wonderful post featuring links to the best sites for garden history, as well as some wonderful garden and landscape photos from its own archives.

*GoogleBooks has some wonderful free eBooks on English gardens written in the early 20th century.

*The best source I found during this little adventure was GardenVisit.com.   Books, articles, photos--pretty much anything you might want to know about the history of gardens. 

Finally, if you are a visual learner, check out http://www.gardenvisit.com/history_theory/garden_landscape_design_articles/historic_design_styles for illustrations of garden styles through history.

I hope you've enjoyed strolling through the garden with me.  If you have any favorite garden resources, please do share!

Marin

Writing Contests

This post is sort of an update of a piece I wrote last year over on New Kids on the Writers Block, when I was in a contest frenzy. I've been in contest mode this spring as well, serving as a category coordinator and a backup judge for the Cleveland Rocks Romance Contest, and as a judge for another RWA chapter contest. Serving as Category Coordinator was a ton of work but both fun and instructive--I certainly have a new respect for the amount of effort that goes into organizing a quality contest, and NEORWA's contest certainly does rock.

I have also entered three contests this spring. I sent off my last entry just last night, feverishly editing and polishing until nearly 11 pm, just an hour before the deadline (apparently I thrive on deadlines, which encourages my tendency toward procrastination more than you might think). I submitted the same work to each. The first entry was pretty weak, since no eyes but mine had ever looked at it. The judges were kind; they gave me decent scores and pointed out some "duh" moments in the manuscript.  The second entry was more polished than the first--still waiting on that one--and the third entry was better still. (I hope; my eyes were crossing near the end and I probably made some huge mistake.)  Keep your fingers crossed for me, please!

Contests are wonderful ways to get your manuscript in front of unbiased judges, although you do, admittedly, have to pay for the privilege. Most contests include some combination of published and not-yet-published authors in the first round; the best contests train their judges. The benefits of a contest are tangible--you receive objective, generally constructive criticism,  as well as pats on the back for the things you do well. If you have submitted a work you've just started and want to get some feedback, contests are wonderful tools. If you are a finalist, your work is reviewed by an agent or editor who is actively acquiring manuscripts. If you win, you seldom gain much in a material sense, but you receive bragging rights and sometimes even a request for a full or partial manuscript from an editor/agent. A contest win can even lead to a book contract, although I suspect that happens infrequently.

Just as an aside, if you are interested in entering a contest or two, check out Stephie Smith's contest chart first--there is so much good information I can't even imagine how much work it must be to maintain it.  It has a romance bent, but there are more general contests listed as well. Alexa Bourne also teaches a wonderful class on the ins and outs of contests. She has one coming up in August; check out her website. Her Killer Openings class is great too.

Before you enter, know that there are downsides to contests too, at least in my opinion. First, the costs can add up if you enter too many, and the return on investment probably isn't that great. Second, I think that being a contest junkie can give you a fabulous first 25 pages, but the rest of your MS can suffer from a lack of attention. (This is certainly true for me. The first five chapters of my current WIP have been edited to death, but I haven't even touched the end yet.) Finally, as with any criticism of your writing, you need to take the judges' comments with a grain of salt. Some of them, as painful as it will be to admit it, are spot on and if you take the judge's advice your writing will be better. Other comments will make you wonder whether the judge was commenting on the right entry. Still others will make a valid point, but you will disagree with varying degrees of outrage.

In my opinion, contests have great merit, but I tend to look at them as a bit of a gamble: it's important to know when to quit. I am done with contests for the time being, but I am interested to hear from you. Do you enter contests? If not, why not? What have been your experiences?  And have you ever sold a book as a result?

Marin